I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
