It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize