Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.

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  (612): I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children. http://tfl.nu/5wvk
  Replies (16) Good night (3216) Bad night (877)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  did you answer or finish?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  both

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  (404): Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called? (1-404): did you answer or finish? (404): both http://tfl.nu/gzoz
  Replies (27) Good night (7390) Bad night (1012)
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  (315): View more from New York

  it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.

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  (315): it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right. http://tfl.nu/vsow
  Replies (10) Good night (1060) Bad night (3359)
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  (949): View more from California

  shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...

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  (949): shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do... http://tfl.nu/qae9
  Replies (22) Good night (1316) Bad night (3913)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.

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  (330): If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor. http://tfl.nu/a98x
  Replies (8) Good night (3881) Bad night (1570)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.

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  (617): I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis. http://tfl.nu/8mhm
  Replies (9) Good night (1664) Bad night (3995)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.

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  (727): Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome. http://tfl.nu/3ucr
  Replies (20) Good night (1954) Bad night (631)
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  (739): View more from

  The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.

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  (739): The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/v9ao
  Replies (13) Good night (3321) Bad night (584)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.

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  (937): How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold. http://tfl.nu/0xc1
  Replies (14) Good night (2749) Bad night (648)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.

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  (202): I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/7w7n
  Replies (3) Good night (539) Bad night (1332)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?

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  (360): Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two? http://tfl.nu/t4gj
  Replies (5) Good night (473) Bad night (913)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex

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  (703): Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex http://tfl.nu/1fn0
  Replies (7) Good night (517) Bad night (827)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt

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  (717): im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt http://tfl.nu/5q8i
  Replies (5) Good night (439) Bad night (521)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom

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  (610): Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom http://tfl.nu/xyyz
  Replies (3) Good night (635) Bad night (364)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"

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  (918): The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo" http://tfl.nu/4ubw
  Replies (3) Good night (387) Bad night (227)

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