Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?

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  (502): Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF? http://tfl.nu/6t5x
  Replies (21) Good night (846) Bad night (1998)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.

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  (717): can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill. http://tfl.nu/zd59
  Replies (18) Good night (1248) Bad night (5176)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy

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  (732): On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy http://tfl.nu/zv53
  Replies (57) Good night (5755) Bad night (930)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I gave up sex for lent.

  (646): View more from New York

  I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.

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  (678): I gave up sex for lent. (646): I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter. http://tfl.nu/87gp
  Replies (18) Good night (1256) Bad night (4569)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable

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  (506): She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/lnzm
  Replies (8) Good night (1402) Bad night (3461)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".

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  (910): After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could". http://tfl.nu/pxbj
  Replies (22) Good night (8289) Bad night (1995)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you

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  (503): you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you http://tfl.nu/l62c
  Replies (4) Good night (2265) Bad night (1220)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.

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  (713): I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells. http://tfl.nu/5vl5
  Replies (10) Good night (2101) Bad night (954)
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  (714): View more from California

  There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?

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  (714): There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed? http://tfl.nu/o0fs
  Replies (11) Good night (816) Bad night (1864)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.

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  (248): I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right. http://tfl.nu/unzg
  Replies (10) Good night (1666) Bad night (868)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.

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  (813): The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us. http://tfl.nu/d109
  Replies (3) Good night (1350) Bad night (557)
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  (415): View more from California

  I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.

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  (415): I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks. http://tfl.nu/v9xu
  Replies (5) Good night (1015) Bad night (519)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."

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  (724): Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once." http://tfl.nu/asv3
  Replies (6) Good night (561) Bad night (248)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me

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  (978): I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me http://tfl.nu/vd1r
  Replies (1) Good night (452) Bad night (178)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER

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  (717): WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER http://tfl.nu/ayd2
  Replies (2) Good night (195) Bad night (497)

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