Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk

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(905): View more from Toronto

She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.

(416): View more from Ontario

Got yourself a keeper right there.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.

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(954): View more from Florida

you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(609): View more from New Jersey

I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?

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(440): View more from Ohio

Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.

(1-440): View more from Ohio

Run dude. Just run

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?

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