If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
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You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
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Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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