no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize