Grow some girl-balls and come out already
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
