Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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