Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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