We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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