There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
