So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Hello my rib-scented angel!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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