i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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