...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
