She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
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If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
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How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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