don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
