Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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