She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
