There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
