TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
