two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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