Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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