new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
