I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
