thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
