awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
