Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize