its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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