I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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