it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
