Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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