I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
