so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
