I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm having to shit out rocks
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