And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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