quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
