I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
