No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
