I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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