That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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