Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
