can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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