i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize