Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
