whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
