I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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