Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my being single is dangerous.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
