i just had sex bonerless
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize