he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's paint friendship bongs
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize