but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
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Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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