the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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