Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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