just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
