sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
