The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
