Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
