I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize