On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you have to choose: penises or morals?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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