Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
