please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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