Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
