In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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